She was walking through the alleyways of old Varanasi. Not knowing where to go. Not knowing what to do. Trying to read the signs. Trying to find and see you. Her husband? Her love? Her other half?
She found herself at the Old Kings Garden. A place where she used to come before. She liked the spot. It was high above the stairs and steps of the old Ganga ghats. Her left was framed by an old red tower, marking the landscape. Some old remains out of almost forgotten times. Once home of kings and kingdoms. Now house and shelter for hundreds and thousands of doves and gulls. One can overlook and over see the ghats stretching on the right side towards the horizon. Just to be framed by the sandy river beds on the other side. The place were, in daily peaceful routine, the sun is rising and praising the banks and the people of the Ganga with their warming, lightning beams of sun rays, love and happiness.
She found herself strolling bare feet. Like she did. Like she liked it. Towards a small gap in the old decaying wall. Her mind was restless. Restless and helpless. Driven by force and her true longing. Trying to understand.
It was pushing her nerves and senses. She was alert. Highly alert and captured. She came for help. What she found was different.
Her mind was going and going. Her spirit was about to weaken. Her connection to him, her other half, was weakening. Him and him. Both in her mind. One longing. One pushing. Both from a different tribe. Fighting.
She stepped down the gap. Ready to connect. To set down and turn silent. There was laying a Shillum. She knew it was hers. She sat down. Her mind about to blast. She was about to step into the cave of the lion. Not knowing what else to do.
Her spirit was about to blast. She took on the Shillum. About to take the breath. She felt he was waiting to start the talk. How longer she will stay, how stronger the other is about to become. He gives a fuck. No regrets.
The connection was coming. She felt him somehow. Her mind turned silent. It was just them two. Something was about to happen. She lost control. Her mind wide open. The pictures were flowing. She felt the pain.
Than it was over. Just her longing hovering in the air. Her broken hear and her desire to find peace in his breath and his arms.
She opened her eyes. Two butterflies grasping her glare. Showing their unlimited affection for each other. Unconditional love between their wings. They were flying to nirvana. There was magic in her. Truely believing. Emerging in the beauty of this revelation. Thankful. Humbled.
The phone rang. She picked it up. Breathless and shaking his voice whispered in her ear. All she could handle, ... but. His words brought the questions. Confusion conquering her mind. Befuddlement longing to capture her heart. Not able to split emotion and vision.