When a piece of earth slowly but steady gets contaminated.
Contaminated by my poisonousness thoughts. Or is this energetic place on earth dripping its nasty venom into my mind? Pulling and Pushing. Pulling and Pushing.
Maybe I got to quick 'aware' of the pulsating rhythm of this place? No, it's not. The feeling and the leaving would be different. There would be understanding. But kind of it is. It was a judgement that I started my time here with.* A judgement that manifested itself day by day. How more energy I gave it, how bigger it grew. How bigger it became, how more real it seemed. How more realistic it became, more energy it absorbed.
The poison is strong. I can feel it coming like a dark cloud wafting around me, than entering into my spine and spreading furiously over my nerves through my whole body. I am aware of it. I shake my body. I shake myself. I shake my head. I shake away the cloud. I shake away the poison. I shake away this venomous thought. Focus. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V X Y Z A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. I am quickly speaking and repeating the alphabet in english. Over and over again. Without taking a breath. I muddled. Again. Slow down. Breath. Focus. I am back. Back in the here. Back in the now. All is well an intimated voice whispers in my head. .. and I knew it is.
Don't give those thoughts energy. You create your own reality. In good terms and in negative terms. It is your energy flow that exhilarates. Creates. Manifests.
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Wriiten in Goa. Living the moment. Opposit Chai Shop. March 2015. But, that doesn't matter. The writing is universal. Time. Space. Place. Interchangeable.
* Sometimes it feels more than an observation with acceptance than judgement. At the end there is no difference. I decided fully aware by and for myself to stay. Understpood the 'why' I was there. Acceptance. Well let's do it than, hey? Optimistic. Excited. Energetic. At the beginning. At the end. I served the purpouse. At times. It was painful.