Wide Open Spaces – I love it! I climb the little mountain range for the sunset. There is a lot of companions on the path, who feel like the same. Some by themselves, like me. Some are couples. Some smaller groups of four to six people.
The outlook is just astonishing. As soon as your eyes hatch the very first glimpse over the mountain peak. As soon as your skin feels the very first touch of the lasts`evening sun streams. You just know. There is a magical moment happening. You get excited. You feel the tension in your body arising.
I sit down. Just for a little. Close my eyes. Let the warmth of the setting sun reach out for my cold numb body. I wear a skirt. My naked upper leg touches the smooth warm top of the stone chair. It is like a flow of warm motion circulating through my whole body, connected with the streams of the sun and the energy of the warmth absorbing granite stone. I turn around. Face the festival. Like small little busy ants. But no. They are not running chaotically around. They kind of flow smoothly with each other. Not like ants thrived by the urge to fulfil their quest. More like those people are one pulsating organism of united individuality. Moving Anti Newtonian. I have to smile.
A couple sits down behind me. There was something about them. 'Do you believe, that it's possible to meet a person, who you've never met or known before in life? A person, who does nothing know about you at all, just looks at you and know who you truly are?' The couple looks at each other. Was there just a sparkle in both os their eyes while their were slightly glimpsing at each other for just this tiny moment? Have their mouthes just formed this unnoticeable smile? The couple owed me a verbal answer.
***
Introverse 2015
I needed one 'yes'. One other 'approval' to trust and belief.
Searching outside. Getting the answer.
Too blind. Too scared. Too shocked.
My mind needed one other 'yes'. One other 'approval' to be defeated.
It never got.
***
A reach out for others, who 'feel' the same oneness? A reach out for others, as an logical approval? My voice is shaking and breaking. My eyes are filled with tears. Well, I know the answer. Yes, a simple knowing. The tears the gap between the knowing and the feeling. I feel it is true. I was never loved before. I know it is true. We are loosing ourselves.
… and there was although this inner awareness, that it's up to my personal own to find to my truly self again. I have to recognise my personal truth. He might be guidance on my personal path, knowing and feeling my personal fight, not stepping away from me. Knowing me the whole time, reflecting a (broken) mirror of love.