This have been my words at one point in my life. Precisely in one of my last Varanasi and India days. Hearing them, getting reminded about my former self, believe and identity, is good. I had values, that I see are getting about to be destroyed from a combination of action and reaction from inner and outer forces, all entangled and intwined to make it unable to sense the original source. The reminder is good. Necessary, guiding, helpful. I liked myself there and I had good honest reasons to. There was a 'righteous' alignment of thoughts, actions and believes happening in and with myself.
Over the last period of ongoing but past experience, there was one topic that constantly but on an unpredictable basis tried to catch my attention and even more tried to get a form of concession towards it from me. But this perception and final 'explanation' just doesn't sound right. The topic is about 'survival and surviving life', but that's not all about it. That's so much not about that.
The record reminded me. … and here comes my bet: I bet everything I have. I bet everything I am, to proof the world and the one taking on the bet, that everyone has an open heart for a stranger, leaving behind there personal fears and concerns to act in the name of love, god and humanity to proof that there is only one universal force existing, guiding and ruling this world, life, humanity and existence: Love.
Simple?
I will proof, that humans are genuine good creatures.
The record, I've listened to, hearing my former self believingly (and acting as best as possible in this of my stages) truly convinced talking like I was? Well, it had a sort of an impact. I can honestly say.
There have been reasons to be in love with this former self of mine. The beginning of all. Honest, forgiving, accepting self love. It is the beauty of the alignment as well as the recognition of it. Nearly a year later, listening to the recording, makes it even more special for me. It was a good reminder at the right times with the exactly right content, that I needed to hear and get reminded of. Somehow I felt being close to the answer of all those questions, that arise with the topic I am talking about on the tape, when I was talking. At the moment? At the moment I feel further away than ever.
I got driven on the back of a rickshaw by my friend to an apple store and i-net cafe, to get the shit with my mac sorted. When you travel, you meet a lot of people, you don't meet a lot of friends. This one, was a friend. He was the one, who stopped one evening on his rickshaw next to me, in the crowded streets of Varanasi and letting me drive him in his rickshaw first to a place with awesome indian style cookies than to my pink beautiful princess room at the ghats of Varanasi. The whole day I was thinking about how cool … mindbubbling … I actually was thinking >cool< seriously … end of mindbubbling … it mighty be to drive a rickshaw through the streets of Varanasi. Would be fun, I thought and than? Thank you, universe! This Sundip guy shows up and makes the deal with me. Fun! So much fun! Sundip himself as well an amused guest on the back of his own rickshaw, getting driven through the streets of old Varanasi. Good companion that one. I seriously enjoyed the time, the action and having this indian fellow around. It was straight away clear, we are friends and we like each other. We are fun. … and than the ride was already over and that time we went different ways, not running into each other for a very long time.
This time he was driving me entertainingly on my mission 'to safe the mac' through the outer skirts of Varanasi. He knew where to go. Pushing one more time energetically in the pedals to steer the three wheeler safely through the wild mix of traffic, consisting of other Rickshaws, taxis, cows, cars, scooters, pedestrians with food wagons dragging behind them. This guy was good fun. I liked him.
“We all have responsibility for each other. We all have responsibility for society, nature and he world we live in. … … … and that makes it necessary that each one of us has to do something for and about it. It's not about the money we gain. It's not about the comfort either. It's also not about the satisfaction it offers. It is about how each one of us can do their part to make all this work, sustain and (better?)