ONCE I believed and I had the energy and the want. But it was a shared imagination and there was a shared and combined energy and want. Than I just had the belief and my own imagination and the want. But a lack of energy. With the lack of energy and the final result of 'nothing doing for it' started the belief slowly but steady to vanish. The 'not right Now' manifested. The imagination weakend. Almost non belief left. 

THAN I tried to make myself believe again. Some glimpses of this old known magical feeling of it where there, instantly gone never strong enough to bring this energetical outburst and overflow, I just want to dive and emerge into. My lack of energy never let my imaginations last long. Than there came the doubt and the fear and often voices from others, who made me doubt more and believe less. Instead of lived imagination, there've got transformed into ink, shuffled aside, not able to cope with the lack of energy to push for fulfillment.* They were laying like mountain ranges on my soul.** They still do - kind of.

NOW the time has come to let them got, set them free and release them into the unknown infinity of life - sealed with the prays of hope.

* Downwardspirals man, I tell you. There are ugly. If you once get sucked into their negative vortex, what a rollercoaster.

** And physically as at least 5kgs in my backpack on my shoulders ;-) ... and that they still do. Damit!