The conference was about physics, atoms and the universe. His Holiness the Dalai Lama was invited as special guest. The conference was hold at one of Delhi’s many universities campus' in a suburb of Indias' capital. She wasn't invited neither did she knew what she was suppose to expect, to hope for. What she knew is, that she was suppose to go, meet his Holiness. What she also knew was, that there were also forces trying to baffle.
When the decision was made, she also decided to not think about it any more. Not in date. Not in time. Not in place. Not in expectations. Not in pictures. Illusions or any other way. It was banned from her being.
She left her harbourage later than good, already knowing that she might run late for the opening of the conference. She wasn't concerned about it too much. More important seemed for her, that she was moving in her comfortable speed to stay still focused in her mind.
When she arrived the conference had already started. Still there were different kinds of people running around in the halls and aisles of the university building. A long table at the head was where they were looking after visitors and guests. She got welcomed friendly and handed over a visitor pass. She was allowed to 'watch' the conference in a separate room on a live screen. Well. When it was this, what she was there for. She sat down. The room was rarely filled. Mostly young students. Some Tibetan dressed monks and believers. They all were listening to an university member having his talk.
She left the screening room after a while. To the right time. A woman was having a go at the table, trying to make her point to get entry into the real conference room. She stepped in the right moment into the scene. She got pulled away to avoid further conflict and got lead into the conference hall. .er heart stopped beating. There she was. There he was.
Now it was on her. She felt it. She walked down the aisle. His Holiness were sitting in a moderate wooded armchair. His head hanging lowered between his shoulders. When she started moving down the lines of chairs, he lived his head slightly and she felt his eye watching over her and each single step and breath she was about to take. He sensed her present. He recognised her. Some how. She was familiar to him.
She sat down. Happiness in her, that she was where she was. Now it was on her. She felt it. She sat down. She concentrated. She wanted to send him her pictures, when his Holiness was coming to her in person of a stranger in the train. She wanted to let him know, where she was. That he was recognising her as the woman in the train toilet, washing his face, hands and feets. Leaving her with a hug, love and passion. She was nervous and her mind was restless, but she had to focus. She ad to make sure, that herself was not just reaching out, but also touching him.
The pictures were there. The moment one more time alive. She lived it through, like the first time. With all her emotions and feelings. With all her awarenesses and abasements. Strength and peace were arising in her chest, while she was back at the beginning of her 'journey to the origin of herself'.
The moment was over and her mind just tried to keep going. It was. For a moment. A while. Until she became aware. Than she was present again in between all those people, guests, visitors and souls.
There was something, tat had happened with his Holiness. He looked much more awake, alert and present. She tried to listen to the speeches and scientific announcements. Her mind was making her own conclusions. Her own associations. Had her own thoughts about live, the universe and everything.
At some times it was on him, to lift his voice and spirit to share with us. He talked about mosquitoes. That he was letting them still their thirst with his blood. Watching them, when they are sitting down on his skin, about to stick their trunk into his flesh to refresh themselves with his red flow of live. When he picked up this topic. When he was talking about it, like he did. It was like he was talking just for her. In her own words. Her own pictures and her own thoughts and statements towards this topic. Just a second ago, she was thinking exactly about it. The same way. Now he was speaking out, what she was had thought. Tears. Shaking. Abjectly emotion. Was this all possible?
When she sat down, it seemed that the conference itself was running next to er consciousness. She sat down, closed her eyes and rolled her eyes upward to send him her pictures of her very first beginning in the train. Was she precise enough? Was she focused enough? All she could do, she tried. She didn't know how successful she was. She closed her eyes and let him see everything. Trying to tell him, that she was about to fall. Trying to tell him, about the two powerful forces, she wasn't sure how much she was able to distinguish between them any more.
The conference was about to pause for 20 minutes. When it was about to start again, there was a guard of his holiness sitting some seats next to her. She didn't thought about it, but recognised him. The speeches were going on. At stages her forehead was about to blast. Someone as trying to enter her mind. It was like it was the person next to her. It was hurting. She knew his force and this forehead pain. She didn't know anything about their success.
At the first half of the conference, while she was sending him his pictures and moments, she also sometimes felt topics arising in her without any relations, like someone was in her mind 'strolling' around. Not the whole time, just moments and blinks of an eye. At he second half of the conference, she felt his tremendous pain in her forehead. Like someone was trying to enter her mind and spirit.
.jpg)
The conference was about to end. There was a lot of picture taking and appreciations between all members. Then it was about time to leave. For all. There was forming a guard of honour for his holiness. He was just a step away from her. When they were passing each other, he lifted his head. For a moment she was praying, hoping and begging he might stop and touch her. He looked at her. Saw her. Didn't. And got pushed forward by his guards. She was left behind.